Share Your Story
Sharing can be powerful.
If meth has affected you or someone you care about, speak up. Share a message about what you’ve lost or what you’ve learned. You might just save someone from going down an ugly road.
Share Your Story
I had a rough childhood and had to take care of my younger sibling. We were real close not just sisters but best friends. We grew apart for a short time in adulthood but when she left her second husband with her first two kids we regained our closeness. She started drinking a lot from depression because being a single mom with no help was hard on her. She ended up having a third child with an alcoholic. This boy has down syndrome. He was also born with heart problems and had open heart surgery at 3 months old. She kept drinking and doing marijuana but that wasnt giving her the high she was searching for. She met someone who introduced her to meth. Her life spiraled out of control. She was neglecting and physically abusing all of her children. She was allowing her friends to torture her own sons in the worst ways imaginable. She started pushing me away. Her house was always filthy and infested with cockroaches. She knew i didnt like what was going on so she hid things from me. She didnt like the boys talking to me anymore. She was starting to think everyone was a cop trying to hurt her. Her oldest boy begged me one day to keep him and started crying saying he couldnt take it anymore and would kill himself if i took him home. I had to make a hard choice between my innocent nephews or my sister. I chose those boys and with the help of social services they became my sons. Ill never regret taking them as they have done very well in life but i miss her to this day. She spent on and off ten years in prison but she is still an addict and i have nothing to do with her. I have no clue how to get to her as she feels i stole her children and blames everyone but herself for the problems her addictions caused. She almost starved her down syndrome son to death he was six when he came to live with me. The doctors said i would not be able to teach him to eat but i never gave up on him. When he was ten he swallowed his first bite of food ever and he has made so much progress. All three of them are very loving good hearted people and i love and adore them.
For a very long time I blamed others for being the reason I was an addict, but today I know it was me who tried the first line. It all started in 2002, I was a single mom of the first blessing that God ever gave me, my son, but I was unstable and could not keep a job, my focus was on partying and guys when it should have been on building a life for my son. I was not mature enough to raise my son and I am thankful that the woman who stepped up loves him the way she does. When his father and step-mother took me to court for custody and won I completely fell apart. Partying every weekend became the norm. If I wasn’t drunk Friday night, you can bet I was gonna be by the end of the night. It wasn’t long before I found my new best friend, Meth. Oh the rush I felt, the energy to do whatever I wanted, and the pain was gone. I wasn’t immediately hooked, at first I thought oh just to get away from it all once in a while. Wow, was I ever wrong. Shortly after meeting my new best friend I moved to Brookings and found myself in a place that I can only describe as my own personal hell. I was surrounded by people and yet I was always alone. My only friend was Meth and it was not hard to get considering I was dating someone who always had access. Nothing else mattered and I was no longer loathing myself. It wasn’t until my boyfriend ended up in jail for a DWI and I had no choice but to withdraw, that I realized what the Hell I was doing. I was at the bar every weekend, waking up in different places with different people, not remembering the night before, doing many things with many people that I never would have done in my right mind. In April 2001 I moved to Sioux Falls and I thought it would be different because I only knew a few people here. It didn’t take long for me to find those I needed in order to get back to my only love, MY METH. I was homeless, barely weighed 80 pounds and if I couldn’t get it for free, I knew at least a couple guys who would give me a line or smoke me up for a quick lay. My family had no idea where I was or if I was even alive at this point and I truly did not care. This truly was my darkest hour, but I didn’t know it yet. The only thing I knew was that I no longer felt anything that hurt me and I loved it. I met my second gift from God, my husband in July 2001 and although I thought he was gorgeous I knew there was no future for us. God had other plans for me though. We had the best date night ever,standing in the rain and I was starting to come down from a two week high, I asked God for just one sign and a bolt of lighting shot across the sky, thunder crashed and I broke out in tears, this wonderful man wrapped his arms around me from behind and just whispered it will be ok, I am here. I spent the night wrapped in his arms, but when morning came, I got a phone call from my past and I bolted out the door. My ex was out of jail and I just had to go see him. Nevermind the gift that God had given me the night before, I wanted the drugs and with him back, I knew I could get them. I didn’t care about the the fact that my roommate was a creepy stalker guy who took any chance he could to peep on me, ehh everyone needs a little thrill right? I only cared that he had locked me out of my current place to live because I wouldn’t sleep with him. So I moved in with a dealer, nothing wrong with that, I could get what I wanted and all I had to do was keep his house clean and take care of his dog when he was driving truck. My roommate was an older guy who was so far into his addiction that he was picking holes in his skin and when I started to come down I took one look at him and called the only person I could think of who showed me that I was loved. Low and behold, my knight in shining armor showed up and held me while I cried about needing help and not knowing where to go. After feeling like a total slob I jumped in the shower only to find my clothes packed and waiting alongside my new hero when I got out. He took me in and showed me that even I was worth loving. July 24th 2001 was my first day clean and I stayed that way until 2005. During this time I was blessed with two more gifts from God, my daughter, and my youngest son. By no means was life perfect at this point, but I was clean from Meth! I’m not sure how long my relapse was, but I believe it lasted a couple months and then when one of my very best friends got busted and locked up, my knight in shining armor came to the rescue and saved me from myself again. I have been clean ever since! I thank God for all the blessings he has given me, a home, a husband, three beautiful children, a good job; but most of all for the second chance to live.
I started using meth when i was 17, a few months after i was released from my 5th treatment for other drug use. after a month out i moved out of my fathers for my own apartment. i soon found out everyone there was doing it. I stayed away for a few weeks. But stuff changed and i fell i to the lies and snorted my first line. It was great (at the time). I used regularly and snorted my meth for the first few weeks. Told myself id control it, that im only using recreationally. Then i started bangin it and the needle took control over my life. I used any and everyone, lied, stole, did things that totally went against my morals and became someone who scares me to think about till this day. I seen a lot of messed up stuff. I attempted to take my own life at kne point by intentionally overdosing on prozac. I was in someone elses apartment when i had seizures and was rushed to the E.R. where 3 more seizures followed. As my life continued to go down in hell my use increased and so did trouble with the law and my p.o. i was placed on an ankle monitor after being caught trying to steal food from walmart after my probation curfew. I cut that off the next week and went on the run. Another week passed and my mother told me she wanted to take me out for lunch. We met. My mother has always been one to never contact law enforcement on me. She believed what would happen to me would happen and God would sort it out. However this time was different and she set me up. I was arrested and taken to juvie where i was sent to intense treatment where i turned 18. At some point something inside of me told me its time to grow up. So.i did. I used the tools provided for me and changed it around. Graduated high school, and im now working for a Backhoe contracting company and going to college for diesel mechanics in January. Ive felt alone in this and stumbled upon this website. Id love to make some new friends who can relate to me. Cause everyone else ive been friends with has vanished. Im lonely and do nothing but work and watch tv and work on my truck. But thats fine because each day is one more day sober. I still struggle with depression but im no longer using to control it. Im very new to recovery and need some friends in it. Theres no meetings around my small town. This is only the back cover to my story per-say. It feels good to share tho.