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If meth has affected you or someone you care about, speak up. Share a message about what you’ve lost or what you’ve learned. You might just save someone from going down an ugly road.
Share Your Story
This month, March 2019, I celebrate 6 years of sobriety. Recovery is possible but nobody can help you take that first step.
When you are in school you hear all those drug free talks. You never think you’ll do drugs! You truly believe you will be drug free. I was a cheerleader, on the dance team, in band, student council, was loved by my family and did pretty well in school. I would say I had a good life. I did become pregnant at 16. At that point I did have alot of people start to talk down on me. I pushed through. I was vulnerable.
I met someone who accepted me and my son. What changed was the person I decided to hang out with. At first he was good to me but then things changed. He slowly started to belittle me and put me down. I let it because others had.
Well my senior year was the first time I tried a strong drug. I tried night lights (what use to be a legal form of ecstasy) at a party with my than boyfriend. That feeling was great! Not long after that. The words he used against me turned to violence. I thought back to that amazing feeling I felt on night lights. I felt so low about myself that I wanted to feel great again!
So in July 2011 the random uses continued. Off an on till about November. I wasn’t constantly doing drugs every day. It was several times a month though. I felt guilty because I knew it was wrong. Yet it continued. I was using at night and would get physically beat by my boyfriend when my son was away or sleeping. I didn’t feel it was effecting him. I should of known better. After December I only drank occasionally throughout 2012.
In January 2013 my life forever changed. He introduced me to Meth. I thought just once couldn’t hurt. I was so wrong! The feeling Meth gives you is incredible! It makes you feel beautiful, confident and like anything is possible!
I used meth from January-March 2013. In 2 months my life completely turned upside down! I was missing school. I lost track of time. I felt I was functioning fine as a parent. I potty trained my son taught him his abcs but looking back no parent can! That March I lost my grandpa. I regret most not saying goodbye. He was an amazing man. A man I respected and looked up to. How did I repay him, I showed up at the funeral high. It’s been almost 6 years and I still haven’t forgiven myself for that.
I remember a few weeks after that waking up one day wondering who I was and hating the life I had! Hating the person I became and the mother I was. I wanted to change. I wanted out. I didn’t want to live how I was living anymore! That was March 24, 2013. That was the day I choose to become sober. I called my dad and told him everything! We made plans for me to move in with him to help me stay on track.
The next day Child Protective Services got involved. I lost temporary custody of my son. I took the steps needed and got him back within two months. I have never looked back! Addiction is hard but recovery is possible!
My husband of 8 years left our family and three kids I’m pregnant with another for meth. Every time I talk to him he sounds like a demon. It sounds like the actual devil took over him and I keep asking him why he sounds like that, he had no idea. His aggression spiraled out of control until one day he strangled me. To this day he still doesn’t talk to his kids or me. He went from having a house and family to living in his car. He’s about to lose his job. I’m afraid for him to even come around. There’s nothing like this s***. I keep asking him why are you acting like that and he says this is who I am. And I say well I don’t know you then. Because I don’t. It changes everything including your personality.
I grew up very sheltered. Didn’t know the first thing about any kind of drugs. I honestly am not sure what caused me to try meth besides being with the wrong kind of people and rebeling. I met my oldest son’s father in 2016. I was 21 and he was 36. Our relationship was wonderful at first. We smoked pot together on the daily. One day the pot dealer had some meth and offered us some. I found out my man had been sober for six years at that point. I never knew he had a problem with hardcore before that. Anyway smoking lead to shooting and agreeing to let him shoot me up. The first time I thought I was going to die… But I wanted to feel that feeling again. I got pregnant while I was on meth with my first child. I couldn’t stay away from it. Sobered up 2 weeks before I had my child only to get another shot as soon as I got home from the hospital. Two months later, my boyfriend and I decided we’d had enough. We couldn’t pay the rent and our car was repoed. My dad had just bought a house in a different state that needed a lot of work. We talked to him about being sober and also how we could repay the $800 I’d stolen from him. My dad put us and our son up in a hotel while my boyfriend worked on the house. We were both clean. A month later, my son’s father says he’s in pain he can’t bare. Ends up in icu. He has mrsa in his blood from an infection from shooting. Five days later, I have to sign papers pulling him off life support. The day of his service I start using again. End up 8 months later hooking up with a dealer for some. Didn’t know anything about him. Got pregnant with twins. When I found out I was pregnant, I quit cold turkey. Fast forward a month after my twins are born… And I’m thinking a little snort wont hurt. Turns into me shooting 20 or 30 cents every 1-3 hrs. I’m coughing blood. My whole room is spiinning, I can’t breathe, I can’t stand. I hug my 2 yr old thinking that’s the last time I’ll ever be with him…and I pass out. When I wake up, I’m fine and a miracle to say the least. Now raising three beautiful boys by myself. The addiction is always there. Best advice is never to try it.