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If meth has affected you or someone you care about, speak up. Share a message about what you’ve lost or what you’ve learned. You might just save someone from going down an ugly road.
Share Your Story
I was a very heavy, hard drug user. I started doing drugs when I was 17. The next 27 years was about making stupid decisions. I have been through drug treatment centers and was one of the first to do so in S Dak. I’ve done probably every drug there is. When I started meth I didn’t realize that it would take over my life and take away everything I had. I lost my job, 2nd marriage, home, everything that I owned. I lost my dad and brother to suicide during this time and meth had a hold of me like nothing I’ve ever seen! I ended up homeless and had no where to go. I finally started fighting for my life back, meth is a very evil drug!! I just recently bought a new boat, pickup, house. I have a great job and an awesome wife! I preach every day about staying positive and focused. I love my life now, my x wives are great friends of mine and I have my life back. There are way to many terrible stories to tell about those years and I’m glad it’s behind me. I thought about ending my life at different times but I couldn’t do that to my kids and grandkids. I appreciate every day that God gives me, I feel that I’m a miracle in a way.
I had a rough childhood and had to take care of my younger sibling. We were real close not just sisters but best friends. We grew apart for a short time in adulthood but when she left her second husband with her first two kids we regained our closeness. She started drinking a lot from depression because being a single mom with no help was hard on her. She ended up having a third child with an alcoholic. This boy has down syndrome. He was also born with heart problems and had open heart surgery at 3 months old. She kept drinking and doing marijuana but that wasnt giving her the high she was searching for. She met someone who introduced her to meth. Her life spiraled out of control. She was neglecting and physically abusing all of her children. She was allowing her friends to torture her own sons in the worst ways imaginable. She started pushing me away. Her house was always filthy and infested with cockroaches. She knew i didnt like what was going on so she hid things from me. She didnt like the boys talking to me anymore. She was starting to think everyone was a cop trying to hurt her. Her oldest boy begged me one day to keep him and started crying saying he couldnt take it anymore and would kill himself if i took him home. I had to make a hard choice between my innocent nephews or my sister. I chose those boys and with the help of social services they became my sons. Ill never regret taking them as they have done very well in life but i miss her to this day. She spent on and off ten years in prison but she is still an addict and i have nothing to do with her. I have no clue how to get to her as she feels i stole her children and blames everyone but herself for the problems her addictions caused. She almost starved her down syndrome son to death he was six when he came to live with me. The doctors said i would not be able to teach him to eat but i never gave up on him. When he was ten he swallowed his first bite of food ever and he has made so much progress. All three of them are very loving good hearted people and i love and adore them.
For a very long time I blamed others for being the reason I was an addict, but today I know it was me who tried the first line. It all started in 2002, I was a single mom of the first blessing that God ever gave me, my son, but I was unstable and could not keep a job, my focus was on partying and guys when it should have been on building a life for my son. I was not mature enough to raise my son and I am thankful that the woman who stepped up loves him the way she does. When his father and step-mother took me to court for custody and won I completely fell apart. Partying every weekend became the norm. If I wasn’t drunk Friday night, you can bet I was gonna be by the end of the night. It wasn’t long before I found my new best friend, Meth. Oh the rush I felt, the energy to do whatever I wanted, and the pain was gone. I wasn’t immediately hooked, at first I thought oh just to get away from it all once in a while. Wow, was I ever wrong. Shortly after meeting my new best friend I moved to Brookings and found myself in a place that I can only describe as my own personal hell. I was surrounded by people and yet I was always alone. My only friend was Meth and it was not hard to get considering I was dating someone who always had access. Nothing else mattered and I was no longer loathing myself. It wasn’t until my boyfriend ended up in jail for a DWI and I had no choice but to withdraw, that I realized what the Hell I was doing. I was at the bar every weekend, waking up in different places with different people, not remembering the night before, doing many things with many people that I never would have done in my right mind. In April 2001 I moved to Sioux Falls and I thought it would be different because I only knew a few people here. It didn’t take long for me to find those I needed in order to get back to my only love, MY METH. I was homeless, barely weighed 80 pounds and if I couldn’t get it for free, I knew at least a couple guys who would give me a line or smoke me up for a quick lay. My family had no idea where I was or if I was even alive at this point and I truly did not care. This truly was my darkest hour, but I didn’t know it yet. The only thing I knew was that I no longer felt anything that hurt me and I loved it. I met my second gift from God, my husband in July 2001 and although I thought he was gorgeous I knew there was no future for us. God had other plans for me though. We had the best date night ever,standing in the rain and I was starting to come down from a two week high, I asked God for just one sign and a bolt of lighting shot across the sky, thunder crashed and I broke out in tears, this wonderful man wrapped his arms around me from behind and just whispered it will be ok, I am here. I spent the night wrapped in his arms, but when morning came, I got a phone call from my past and I bolted out the door. My ex was out of jail and I just had to go see him. Nevermind the gift that God had given me the night before, I wanted the drugs and with him back, I knew I could get them. I didn’t care about the the fact that my roommate was a creepy stalker guy who took any chance he could to peep on me, ehh everyone needs a little thrill right? I only cared that he had locked me out of my current place to live because I wouldn’t sleep with him. So I moved in with a dealer, nothing wrong with that, I could get what I wanted and all I had to do was keep his house clean and take care of his dog when he was driving truck. My roommate was an older guy who was so far into his addiction that he was picking holes in his skin and when I started to come down I took one look at him and called the only person I could think of who showed me that I was loved. Low and behold, my knight in shining armor showed up and held me while I cried about needing help and not knowing where to go. After feeling like a total slob I jumped in the shower only to find my clothes packed and waiting alongside my new hero when I got out. He took me in and showed me that even I was worth loving. July 24th 2001 was my first day clean and I stayed that way until 2005. During this time I was blessed with two more gifts from God, my daughter, and my youngest son. By no means was life perfect at this point, but I was clean from Meth! I’m not sure how long my relapse was, but I believe it lasted a couple months and then when one of my very best friends got busted and locked up, my knight in shining armor came to the rescue and saved me from myself again. I have been clean ever since! I thank God for all the blessings he has given me, a home, a husband, three beautiful children, a good job; but most of all for the second chance to live.